Learning that I choose
Generating enthusiasm has been missing and diminished over time in the past.
As I recreate, and am being recreated, each growth moment is a surprise. As my efforts seemed to diminish I realized that effort is not the answer. Effort can be a great hindrance if misunderstood.
It can be an energy blockage. I must be very fluid and willing to
keep in motion.
MOTION is the key. Being an observer rarely turns into action.
This is a big jigsaw puzzle. It is starting to be pieced together and it is a surprise.
Higher than thinking is LOOKING. It seems to be a spiritual perception.
This past week I actually acted in a way that I was not proud of. There is a greater learning. I said something to a loved one that was loud pointed and forceful, not at all normal or in good choice of language. Something odd is lingering. I feel it was honest, necessary and I was up against some invalidation criticism, someone spoke to me in a calculating unhealthy towards me. My response was brutal, honest and not so pretty. It felt honest and necessary. I will see how this plays out. I have second thoughts but cannot find another route to an alternate solution. Really I put up with too much questionable conversations in the past.
The only thing that I regret is that I was not revered and respected to not be attacked in such a way. It is what it is and I am ok.
The learning is that Life is what it is. I wish this event did not happen, but it did, its done and I can live with the future I have helped create.
Yes I am dancing around the incident. But that is all that I have to share. It is enough for now.
Life can be a challenge and although there is a regret, I too am human.
not previously published
Things I think about PART 1
Everyday I wonder how I fit in and what the future ma be. I have spent many years reading and making sense of life as it comes to me. As a young HS student my mom sent me to what I thought was a speed reading class. It was Silva Mind control. WOW i could not tell her how to read faster. But, I could say there is something called REMOTE VIEWING and…uh, well….ya know…
It was during my senior year in high school that I was elected Captain of the football team.Halfway through the year, I told my dad that I wanted to quit. John Kennedy, Martin Luther Ling and all was in process. Detroit had civil unrest coming…
Dad said I was part of the community and should continue to fulfill my
obligation to the team and community. I did that and learned a lesson
From time to time I would get a glimpse of another way of learning and perceiving. It led to me recalling being born, even the doctors light on his forehead and his name: Dr. Watson
In College I knew that the science teacher and social science methods were limited in their data reporting. Science was not about the Atom..
not quite the way they explained it. 50 years find the god particle and now particles and waves are mutually inclusive depending on viewing point.
Interested in music, I went to the Sumerians and slowly worked my way up to modern times one culture at a time. By 19 years of age I was a professional accompanist to celebrities at a certain level.
Life moved on to an adventure that I cold not have predicted. I studied alternative energy, Administration and the Historical development of human consciousness. All along making a living as a musician until the age of 33. The studies and experiences make a great
story in itself but living it was unlike anything I expected
Part 2 coming
not previously published
Recently I have had a chance to gather many recordings of a lifetime in the music business. Yes there has been many careers along the way. A community organizer, public utility manager,
town manager, and housing manager. Additionally I am working with recovering addicts. Always there has been music and some well known celebrities.
As I listen to the recordings the artists being from Italy to the West Indies and even Australia, it gave me pause. I am the same
entity that was there in those moments, but gosh when I look in the mirror things have moved on.
I reflected on the construction of the world as I see it. Rocks appear lifeless as they are in front of us but pictures of the past show that
they have new shapes
Plants grow live and die. Animals too have a cycle of life and so do humans. START CONTINUE and DECLINE. Yet, I observe my mind body and am the watcher.
Music has been the common denominator….It and I are timeless…
The spirit lives …..the song is timeless
All we have is ….forever
Building a Future …
We have really been through a battery of tools and personal challenges. From time to time I think that what i am is what it will ever be.
This is not the case. Moment by moment day by day all experiences have led to this point. It is a surprise. The future is as full of wonder as any period of my life has offered
In fact this surprise in optimism really has me off guard. I do not know what to make of it. My years on earth are moving on from 68. Honestly I really had accepted that I had seen what I would this lifetime and that would be it. That is until now.
This MASTERKEY system and experience renewed me and i do not know what to expect. My eyes heart and limbs are open to it all.
Life is not in neutral, in fact i am now in first gear and dont know
what make or model or how many gears or design or or or or much of anything…
When I joined this group I knew who I was where I was and where I was going. Now I dont know who I am where I am and where I am going…
It is a renewal that I did not expect.
LIFE AS A TV SCREEN, HOLOGRAM…MULTIPLE MONITORS….
Is Life like a TV screen?
Do I stand in a crowd?
or is the crowd around me?
This is all interesting in problem solving because where you view something from does matter.
Let me tell you about the Superbowl…yes the Superbowl.
A few years ago I was watching the game with some friends. My seat was about four feet in front of a 60″ screen. The game was great. Crowd noise was was intense. Fans were partisan and so were the three of us as we watched.
I know the wind was blowing and I am sure there was dust. My team did well and we had a lot of popcorn. Eventually the game ended. An interesting experience came next.
We shut off the TV, and silence ensued. I quickly realized that
NOTHING HAPPENED! Three hours went by and NOTHING HAPPENED!
No Field, players officials
Three hours went by we were “vegetized”…mesmerized….tantalized and
I was stunned. There I was totally experiencing all aspects of a live event…
Three hours of life totally in my mind…yet the other two folks..
had the exact same experience.
Little glowing figures, a lit screen and a sound system…
my mind experienced a football game, a crowd and the drama.
Until we shut off the glowing screen.
OH MY! what about my life, your life their life, our life…
what kind of screen do I carry around with me in this life…
This I will explore and report on….let’s do it.
Practicing silence is revealing. In fact, I did not push publish for this document. It was a form of silence.
ALAN WATTS indicates that if you just watch the mind allow it to run its course at some point it returns to silence.
Being MINDFUL is pretty interesting. On one level it is simply noticing that what you are doing is what you are doing.
There is another level of MINDFULNESS, and that is FULL MIND.
You are not your mind, but you do have one. It is like having a broadcast mechanism tagging along. One needs to SORT those BROADCASTS.
AGREEMENT is not required to these broadcasts, they can have a life of their own. They are like cloud formations, they just happen and to a greater or lessor degree can have a full range of weather.
Early spiritual writings tell us that the physical worlds was MAYA or illusion. Taking the time to track words, culture and the use of language as humanity describes themselves, we see a gradual and increasing description of the world as matter.
So it seems that we know of two worlds and that is a moving point.
Life can be Spiritual affecting matter. It cam also be matter and a challenge to be free.
I am reviewing this on THANKSGIVING DAY, and am feeling grateful.
Grateful for having a rich inner life, a perspective on the material world and an opportunity to share from a point in the EARTH-SCHOOL.
REFLECTIONS ON A DIVERSE WORK-GROUP
Thanks for the great feedback to my interests at the staff mtg. What a great diverse staff and the comments were appreciated. We all have different style, interests and gifts. There were some very interesting and helpful insights for me as to how it all fits together.
Many run their sessions in quite different ways:
Lee commented that structure and order are a prerequisite for her
Kim mentioned a point that those that are early in the program, can benefit from consideration in their first week
The feedback from Chastity revealed how our actions can affect other staff and their functions.
As Julie pointed out, clear communication across the board is needed particularly as the patients are getting ready to depart.
Melissa and Ray run quite a different style process. They are quite comfortable not making posture, and formal behavior as important as interaction.
I have seen Ray from 12 steps keeping order in the evening class around tables. There can be challenges in larger groups and number of participants can matter.
We are in the process of evaluating what can and should be done to deliver a standard program. As Barb mentioned predictability is helpful for a standard program. Taking the skills insights and talent of the staff into consideration is a moving point and we are trying to take everyone into consideration as we develop the procedures for a continually improving program. Roy pointed out that there are extenuating circumstances and exceptions can be necessary from time to time.
This was a very good discussion and my notes here are not at all complete but merely a shadow of our conversation. My experience has been that in SMART I ran a very strict and tight ship but would announce and allow some flexibility for those in their first week. In THEORY there is little or no room for compromise yet in ACC it can be noisy and unpredictable. MUSIC has been a mixed bag since the participation level varies drastically.
Once I was told about the change in what BE GOOD meant. At the turn of the century, it meant BE EFFECTIVE. One needed to watch the season weather and development of crops or herds. Houses needed to be built, clothes made, food prepared and education was rarely on into high school. By mid- 1960’s. BE GOOD meant BE STILL and the schools now required us to BE STILL. I prefer BE EFFECTIVE.
Let’s work together to find the best balance. Thank You, Dan